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December 23, 1854.] THE LEADEE. 1217
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BARNUM. The Autobiography qfPhineas Tayl...
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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December 23, 1854.] The Leadee. 1217
December 23 , 1854 . ] THE LEADEE . 1217
Barnum. The Autobiography Qfphineas Tayl...
BARNUM . The Autobiography qfPhineas Taylor Barnum , < fc . tfc . Sampson , Low and Co . ~ No amount of adverse criticism could do injustice to this book . It may be briefly characterised as an account of a quarter of a century of" humbug , " which no moral attaches , excepting that the ( New ) World is ruled by humbug , and that cash is more satisfactory than pride . This Autobiography is composed of numberless yarns , broad grins , and Yankee tricks—some good , the majority bad , and all very indifferent to the characters of the persons concerned . A few extracts will not , we trust , induce imitators . The Caesar-like air with which Barnum professes to carry all before him , is grand in its impertinence .
THE CHURCH AND THE CIRCUS . As was usually my custom on the Sabbath . I attended church in Lenox , Mass . The clergyman took occasion to declaim against our circus ; said that all men connected with circuses were destitute of morality , & c . In fact , he called us such hard names , that I wrote a request to be permitted to reply to him , and asked him to give notice from the pulpit that I should do so . I signed it " P . T . Barnum , connected with the circus , June 5 , 1836 ; " and as soon as he had read the closing hymn , I walked up the piupit-stairs and handed him the request . He declined noticing it , and immediately after -the benediction was pronounced , I strongly lectured him for not granting me an opportunity to vindicate our characters , gave him my opinion of a slanderer , & c . This incident caused great commotion in the village . Several members of his church apologised for their clergyman's conduct . They said that he had recently lectured them for permitting their children to speak in dialogue at an exhibition of the village-school , censured him for his course regarding the circus , and hoped that I would not hold the church responsible for his ill behaviour . I was satisfied , and , as Louis Napoleon would say , " tranquillity was restored . "
A similar scene subsequently occurred at Port Deposit , on the lower Susquehannah , though in the latter case I insisted on addressing the audience in defence of ourselves from personal assault * I did so for half an hour , and the people attentively listened to me , though the clergyman repeatedly begged them to disperse , I sincerely thought myself entitled to this hearing . Many a time had I collected the circus company on the Sabbath , and read to them the Bible and such printed sermons as I could obtain * and I had repeatedly induced many of them to accompany me to public worship in the towns and villages in our route . We certainly had no religion to boast of , but we felt ourselves not altogether " castaways , " and thought we were entitled to gentlemanly treatment at least when in attendance on the gospel ministry .
THE ETHIOPIAN CAN CHANGE HIS SKIN . I had advertised negro songs ; no one of my company was competent to fill his place ; but being determined not to disappoint the audience , / ilached myself thoroughly , and sang the songs advertised , namely , " Zip Coon , " " Gittin up Stairs , " and " The Racoon Hunt , or Sitting on a Rail . " It was decidedly " a hard push , " but the audience supposed the singer was Sandfbrd , and , to my surprise , my singing was applauded , and in two of the songs I was encored ! After singing my negro songs one evening , and just as I had pulled my coat off in the " dressing-room" of the tent , I heard a slight disturbance outside the canvas . Rushing to the spot , and finding a person , disputing -with my men , I took their part , and spoke my mind to him very freely . He instantly drew his pistol , exclaiming , " You black scoundrel ! dare you use such language to a , white man ? ' and proceeded
deliberately to cock it . I saw that he supposed me to be a negro , and might perhaps blow my brains out- Quick as thought I rolled up my shirt-sleeves , and replied , " I am as -white as you are , sir . " He absolutely dropped -the pistol with fright ! Probably he had never seen a white man blacked up before ; at all events , he begged my pardon , and I re-entered my " dressing-room , " fully realising that I had incurred a narrow chance of losing my life . Nothing but a presence of mind which never yet deserted me , saved ray brains . On four several occasions during my life I have had a loaded pistol pointed at my head , and on each occasion have I escaped by little less than a miracle . Several times , also , have I been in 'deadly peril by accidents ; and now , when I look over my history , and call these things to mind , and especially when , in tracing my career , I find that so many with whom I have had intercourse are tenants of the grave , I cannot but realise that I am deeply indebted to the mercy of God .
AMUSEMENTS OF TUB AMEMOAN MCSEU 2 W . There has been a gradual change in these , and the transient attractions of the Museum have been greatly diversified : industrious fleas , educated dogs , jugglers , automatons , ventriloquists , living statuary , tableaux , gipsies , albinos , fat boys , giants , dwarfs , rope-dancers , caricatures of phrenology , and " live Yankees , " pantomime , instrumental music , singing and dancing in groat variety ( including Ethiopians ) , etc ., dioramas , panoramas , models of Dublin , Paris , Niagara ,. Jerusalem , etc ., mechanical figures , fancy glass-blowing , knitting-machines and other triumphs in the mechanical arts , dissolving views , American Indians , including their warlike and religious ceremonies enacted on the stage , etc ., etc .
Apart from the merit and interest of these performances , and apart from everything connected with the stage , my permanent collection of curiosities is , without doubt , abundantly worth the uniform charge of admission to all the entertainments of the establishment , and I can therefore afford to bo accused of " humbug" when I add such transient novelties as increase its attractions . If I have exhibited a questionable dead mermaid in my Musoum , it should not bo overlooked that I havo also exhibited cameleopards , a rhinocoros , grisly boars , orang-outangs , great serpents , etc ., about which there could bo no mistake because they were nlivo ; nnd I should hope that a little " clap-trap" occasionally , in the way of transparencies , flngs , exaggerated pictures , and pulling advertisements , might find an ofi ' not in a wilderness of wonderful , Instructive , nnd amusing realities . Indeed I cannot doubt that the sort of " claptrnp" hero referred to is allowable , and that the public like a little of it mixed up with tho groat realities which I provide . The titlos of " humbug" nnd the " princo of humbugs" were first applied to mo by myself . I mado those titles a part of my " stock in trade , " and may horo quote a passage from tho Fortunes of the Scattergood Family , a work by tho popular English writer Albort Smith : —
" ' It s a great thing to be a humbug , ' said Mr . Rossott . ' I ' ve been called so often . It moans hitting tho public in ronlity . Anybody who can do so is sure to bo called a humbug by Homebody who can't ,, ' " Among my ft rat oxtriv exhibitions produced at tho American Museum was a modol of tho Jalln of Ningum , belonging to Grain the nvfctet . It was undoubtedly a fine modol , giving tho mnthuinatici ' il proportion ?) of that groat cataract , nnd tho treos , rocks , buildings , etc ., in its vicinity . Uiit . tho absurdity of tho tiling ooiiMMtud in . introducing water , thus protending to present n fac-nimHo of Hint great wonder of nature . Tho falla woro about eighteen inched high , everything ulso being in duo proportion . I confoHS I felt somewhat ashamed of this myrtdlf , yot it miirfo a good lino in tho bill , and I bought tho modol for' 200 dollar * . My ndvurtirtoiuuntrt then uunounuud among the attractions of the Museum , TII 10 fmifl / lT MODIGI .. OK NIAO . YKA PAIXrt , WITH KKAI . WATICH I A single barrel of water anaworod tho purpose of tlxla mwlul for ixn entire » caaon ,
for the faUs flowed into a reservoir behind the scenes , and . the water was continually re-supplied to the cataract by means of a small pump .
THE CLUB THAT KILI-ED CAPTAIN COOK . Passing up stairs , I commenced overhauling a lot of war-clubs , and finally selected a heavy one that looked as if it might have killed Captain Cook or anybody else whose head it came in contact with . Having affixed a small label on it , reading " The Captain Cook Club , " I took it down to Mr . Clark , assuring him that this was the instrument of death which he had inquired for . " Is it possible ? " said he , as he took into his hand . Presently raising it above his head , he exclaimed , " Well , I declare , this is a terrible weapon with which to take a man ' s life . " " Yes , " I replied seriously , hut feeling an inward delight that I was now paying off Mr . Clark with interest ; " I believe it killed the victim at the first blow !" it T > v- » rt *» ri «^ i . ;« i ~ i _ , * i . I ?) t _ i i i ^ ii i _ * j . \ . _ _; * . _ ll x , j * j * i . Poor Captain Cook ! " claimed Clarkith sih wonder if he
„ " ex , wa g ; " I was conscious after receiving the fatal blow . " " I don ' t think he could have been , " I responded , with a well-feigned look of sorrow , " You are sure this is the identical club ? " inquired Clark . " " We have documents which place its identity beyond all question , " I replied . . " Poor Cook ! poor Cook ! " said Clark , musingly . " Well , Mr . Barnum , " he continued with great gravity , at the same time extending his hand and giving mine a hearty shake , " I am really very much obliged to you for your kindness . I had an irrepressible desire to see the club that killed Captain Cook , and I felt quite confident you could accommodate me . I have been in half-a-dozen smaller museums , and as they all had it , I was sure a large establishment like yours would not be without it !" TOM THUMB ' S VISIT TO A BARONESS .
A few evenings afterwards the Baroness Rothschild sent her carriage for us . Her mansion is a noble structure in Piccadilly , surrounded by a high wall , through , the gate of which our carriage was driven and brought up in front of the main entrance-Here we were received by half-a-dozen servants , elegantly dressed in black coats and pantaloons , white vests and cravats , white kid gloves , and , in fact , " wearing the tout ensemble of gentlemen . One old chap was dressed in livery—a heavy laced coat , breeches , a large white powdered and curled wig , and everything else to match . The hall vras brilliantly illuminated , and each side was graced with the most beautiful statuary . We were ushered up a broad flight of marble stairs , ' and our names announced at the door of the drawing-room by an elegantly-dressed servant , who , under other circumstances , I might have supposed was a member of tie noble family As . we entered the drawing-room , a glare of magnificence met my sight which it is impossible for me to describe . The Baroness was seated on a gorgeous couch , covered with rick figured silk , damask £ there -were several similar couches in the room ) , and
several lords and ladies were seated in chairs elegantly carved and covered with gold , looking indeed like solid gold , except the bottoms , which were of rich velvet . On each side of the mantel-piece were specimens of marble statuary , oa the right of which stood glazed cabinets , containing urns , vases , and a tbousand other things of the most exquisite workmanship , made of gold , silver , diamonds , alabaster , pearl , & c The centre table , and several tables about the size and something like the . shape of a pianoforte , all covered with gold , or made of ebony , thickly inlaid with pearls of various hues , were loaded with bijoux of every kind , surpassing in elegance anything I had ever dreamed of . The chairs at one end of the room were made of ebony , inlaid with pearl and gold , elegantly cushioned with damask . The walls were panelled , and heavily gilt ; the curtains and ornaments of the most costly kind . The immense chandeliers , candelabra , & c , exceeded all my powers of description , and I confess my total inability to give a correct idea of the Bplendour in which lived the wife of the most "wealthy banker in the world .
Hero we spent about two hours . About twenty lords and ladies were present . On taking our leave , an elegant and well-filled purse was quietly slipped into my hand , and I felt that the golden shower was "beginning to fall !
TOM THUMB AT COURT . Queen Victoria desired the General to sing a song , and asked him what song he preferred to sing . " Yankee Doodle , " was the prompt reply . This answer was as unexpected to me as it was to the royal party . When the merriment it occasioned somewhat subsided , the Queen good-humouredly remarked , " That is a very pretty song , General ; sing it , if you please . " The General complied , and soon af terwards we retired . I ought to add , that after each of ouv three visits to Buckingham Palace , a handsome douceur was sent to me , of course by tho Queen's command . This , however , was the smallest part of tho advantages derived from these interviews , aa will bo at once apparent to all who consider tho force of court example in England .
PLATTFUXNESS OF TUB SWEDISH NIGHTINGALE . Christmas was at hand , and Jenny determined to honour it in tho way she had often done in Sweden . She had " a beautiful Christmas treo privately prepared , and from its boughs depended a variety of presents for members of the company . These gifts were encased in paper , with tho naiuca of tho recipients written on each . After spending a pleasant evening in her drawing-room , she invited us into tho parlour , where tho " surprise" awaited us . Each person commenced opening tho packages bearing his or her address , and although every individual had ono or more pretty presents , she had prepared a joke for each . Mr . Benedict , for instance , took off wrapper after wrapper from ono of his packages , which at first waa aa largo as his head , but after having removed some forty coverings of paper , it was reduced to a size smaller than his hand , and tho removal of tho last envelope exposed to view a piece of Cavendish tobacco . Ono of my presents , choicely wrapped in a dozen coverings , was a jolly young Bacchus in Parian marble—intended as a pleasant hit at ray temperance principles . heoeption : op jenny i-in»—s « k kisses nARNum !
I cannot express what my fooling * woro as I watched this scene from tho dross circle . Poor Jenny I 1 deeply sympathized with her when . I hoard that first hitis . I indeed observed tho resolute bearing which she assumed , but was approhonsivo of Ujft ^^ result . When I witnessed her triumph , I could not restrain tho tears of joy tliat n rolled down my checks j mid rushing through a privnto box , I reached tho stage just as sho was withdrawing after the fifth encore . " God bless you , Jenny , you havo settled thorn ! " I exclaimed . " Are you satisfied ? " said nine , throwing her arms around my nock . Sbo , too , who crying with joy , and ncvor before did » ho look ho beautiful in my oyon «« on that evening . A TltMPEItANCK MOVKMISNT .
In tho fall of 18-17 , while exhibiting General Turn Thumb at Saratoga Spring .- ) , whore tho Now Vork State Fair was ' then boiiitf l » 'l < i , I « aw ho much intoxication among inon of wealth nnd intellect , filling tho highiiit po . iitioiw in oodoty , that I buyau to link mynulf tho nueat ' km , What , guumiKou in thoro that / may not buoonio it drunkard ? 1 rcflootod that many wiwir and l > itt . «> r men than inyHolf had fiillonvictim * to intemperance ; and although 1 wim nol in thu hublt of partaking often of Htrong drink , I wiw liable to do no whciiovor I mot friciiids , which in my trnvolii ooourwil every day . Hence 1 ronolvcd to Hy th . s danger , and I pledged mymilf at that , tuna uovu ' r n « nin to partake of w kind of spirituous liquors iw u beverage .
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Citation
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Leader (1850-1860), Dec. 23, 1854, page 17, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse2.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/l/issues/cld_23121854/page/17/
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