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civility a person who had always shown her great attention and kindness-To this note my master returned no answer . 9 th . Yesterday morning the new maid came ; and in the evening my master and mistress went to Mrs . Gordon ' s dinner . I suspect something unpleasant must have happened , for they came home at nine o ' clock , and my master looked more angry than I ever saw him . He walked up and down the dining-room for upwards of an hour , arid the clenching of the teeth and movements of the lips showed that some very unpleasant thoughts were passing through his mind . My mistress was rather flushed , but there was no appearance of displeasure about her . 10 th . To-day my mistress walked out with Sophy , the new maid .
11 th . I find Mr . Leslie was at Mrs . Gordon ' s party , and sat by my mistress at dinner , and that this was what made my master so angry . I suppose the Gordons knew nothing of the quarrel . 14 th . Page told my master that Mrs . Page had written a note to Mrs . Joddrell in the morning , offering to walk with her , but Mrs . J . had declined , and that he had afterwards seen her pass his house with Sophy , the maid . 16 th . To-day my mistress received an answer from her uncle ; but I fear the contents were not satisfactory . She crushed the paper when she had read it , and threw it into the fire ; and I afterwards observed her in tears . Clearly there is no help to be expected from that quarter . stir in the
26 th . Certainly this is an uncommonly dull family ; there is no house from one week ' s end to another . I wish we were as merry as my next neighbour ; there ' s plenty of music , dancing , and laughing there . My mistress never opens her pianoforte now . Indeed , she is growing more and more listless , and seems to have no spirit for anything . 2 nd . I think my master is coming round a little . He occasionally addresses an observation to his wife . I am glad to see . this . To-day he asked her how she liked her new maid , When things come to the worst they generally begin to mend , I have heard . I hope they have arrived at that sta « rehere .
3 rd . Yes , things are certainly improving—to-day at dinner my master observed that he had not had a Yorkshire pudding lately , and that he should like one the next time there was roast beef . My mistress said she would mention it to Sarah . 5 th . Last night Mr . Page called , and , instead of talking to him below , my master took him up to the drawing-room . He invited him to come to tea to-night , and bring Mrs . Page .
6 th . Yesterday evening the Pages came , and after tea they played a rubber at whist . I don't think my mistress cares much for whist . However , it is better than being always alone . When the cards were over there was a little supper , and they staid till twelve o ' clock . My mistress was certainly the better for it ; but I see she likes the Pages less than ever . She probably suspects they are no friends of hers . I conclude that nothing occurred worth jotting down for some time after
this , for I find a considerable hiatus in my journal . I remember that things went on very much as they did before the quarrel . My master seemed to be endeavouring to behave as formerly , and I think his suspicions had evaporated in a great degree , though not sufficiently to make him seek a reconciliation with Mr . Leslie . My mistress , however , appeared to have fallen into a sad depression of spirits , and I often observed her in tears when she was alone . Certainly , her life was but a dull one for a young person . It was some time after the last date that I find the following entry .
July 20 th . I fear that by his behaviour in Mr . Leslie ' s affair my master has alienated my mistress ' s affections . I have remarked that when he attempts to throw his arm round her waist or caress her that a sort of shudder passes through her frame—a shrinking that I never observed formerly . Poor thing ! poor thing ! this must be a dreadful misfortune , and I fear an irreparable one . I do not think he was ever well fitted to sustain her affection ; but she had the habit of loving him , or of thinking she did , which answered the purpose pretty well . It must be a dreadful discovery for a woman that she cannot love her husband . Doubtless many do not ; but they do not find it out till some domestic earthquake or hurricane shakes off disguises and lays open their hearts . To-morrow my master and mistress leave town for Ramsgate .
Another hiatus . September 6 th . A reconciliation has taken place betwixt my master and Mr . Leslie since they returned to town . To-day being Sunday he dined here for the first time since the quarrel . He was not so gay and free as he used to be , and indeed there was a certain degree of restraint on all parties . I gathered from a conversation betwixt my master and Page that the reconciliation was brought about by the Gordons , who seem good-natured people enough j and that my master consented to shake hands with Mr . Leslie on condition that no allusion should be made to the past—an unwise condition ,
I think , and likely to preclude all real cordiality . When friends quarrel they should " have it all out and make a clean breast of it , " before they attempt to bury the past in oblivion , else the poison of it will be apt to curdle and rankle in their hearts , and rise into their throats on every small occasion . Mr . Leslie calls here occasionally , but never except when my master is at home . On a Sunday he generally dines here . I think it would be a good thing if my master had more company of an evening . I fancy writing all day at a desk disposes the mind to indolence ; at least , it seems so with him . He sleeps more and more . Sunday , December 6 th . This morning my master found himself so poorly that he has remained in bed all day . He intended to get up to dinner , but
found himself unequal to the exertion . The doctor says it is an attack of bile . Mr . Leslie , who had been previously invited , came at five and dined tete-a-tete with my mistress . I think this is the first time they have been alone since the quarrel , except when they accidentally met in the street . When the cloth was removed my mistress went to see how her husband was , but finding him asleep she returned to the dining-room . In the course of a long desultory conversation they at last came upon a point which Leslie much wished to have cleared up . . would tell
" Now we are upon the subject , " said Mr . Leslie , " I wish you me what was the cause of Joddrell ' s anger with me , for really I never could understand it . "—N . B . I observe that since the time Mr . Leslie used to visit here before he has acquired a great deal more confidence and self-possession . I suppose he has mixed more with the world , besides being two years older . " I don ' t exactly know myself , " said my mistress , blushing , and looking somewhat confused , " but I fancy it was something Ann said . " " About our intimacy , I suppose ? " said Mr . Leslie . " I don ' t know , " answered my mistress , blushing still more . " It was , no doubt , " said Mr . Leslie ; " but why listen to her ? why not appeal to you and to me ?" " It would have been more just , certainly , " replied my mistress ; " but people are seldom just when they are angry . " " But what the devil right had he to be angry ? " exclaimed Mr . Leslie ; " that is exactly what I complain of . I think he ought to have known me better after twenty years' acquaintance . Besides , it was extremely unjust to
you . " "• There ' s no use in talking of it , " said my mistress , to whom I saw thrs conversation was painful . " One can ' t argue people out of their feelings . " " But when their feelings are founded on mere delusions one ought to try . Think of the possible consequences of his folly in listening to the report of a good-for-nothing maid servant . As it is , it has cost me a great deal of
annoyance . " " And I am sure it has me , " said my mistress , with a sigh . " I am afraid it has , " rejoined Mr . Leslie ; " and I often reproach myself for having been the unintentional source of the mischief by my frequent visits during Joddrell ' s absence that time at Margate , for I am sure that it was on them the woman founded her calumny . More than once when I
opened the drawing-room door I found her ear at the keyhole ; but the fact is , you were so lonely that I really felt it a duty , as well as a pleasure , to come and divert your solitude a little . " " I was very lonely ! " said my mistress , speaking sadly . " And I am afraid you are not much better now , " said Mr . Leslie . " Not much , " responded she , whilst a tear crept down her cheek . " I pity women with all my soul ! " said Mr . Leslie , with energy . shake of
" We are to be pitied , " answered my mistress , with a melancholy the head ; " but I think I had better go and see how Joddrell is , " she added , hastily rising , " perhaps he is awake by this time ; " and with this she quitted the room , leaving Mr . Leslie with his eyes fixed on the fire , in what is called a brown study . Mr . Joddrell was awake j he said he felt better , and should like a cup of tea . " Is Leslie gone ? " he enquired . " No , " answered my mistress , " he is in the dining-room , " and there was a slight flush and sinking of the eyelids as she spoke—why I cannot tell—I could see no reason for it . I suspect it was not at her own thoughts she blushed , but at what she apprehended might be her husband ' s . " There ' s no use in his staying , " said Mr . Joddrell , rather peevishly ; " I
can ' t see him . " " I dare say he'll go away as soon as he haa had his tea , " said my mistress , ' I'll go and make it directly . " This she did , and herself carried up a cup to her husband . Mr . Leslie did go after tea , and she spent the rest of the evening in the sick man ' s room . I think my mistress was somewhat relieved by the above conversation with Mr . Leslie , although it embarrassed her at the moment . There was comfort in the conviction of his friendship and sympathy ; and I observed that from this time their acquaintance somewhat changed its character , becoming
gradually more confidential and easy . She spoke of her situation and feelings with less reserve j and he , with her knowledge and consent , contrived many little schemes to procure her amusement . I saw also that he endeavoured to manage my master ' s temper , avoiding as much as possible giving him any cause or excuse for dissatisfaction , whilst at the same time his visits became more frequent . Under these circumstances my mistress ' s spirits improved , and the atute of affairs recurred very much to what it had been before the quarrel .
I think the above favourable circumstances must have continued some time ; for I see nothing particular entered in my journal till the month ol June , when I find the following notice : — June 10 th . I fear something unpleasant haa occurred 1 Yesterday there was a party to Vauxhall . My master and mistress , Mr , Leslie , and a Mr Glossop , went in a coach . As far as I can make out , my master . and Mr , Glossop quarrelled about the supper bill , and the latter , in his rage , has said something offensive . My master and mistress came home alone ; he very angry and she in tears . Mrs . Gordon was here this morning , saying sht was dreadfully afraid there would be a duel between Mr . Leslie and Mr Glossop . I see that my mistress ia in great distress ; my master is angrj and silent .
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Ava . 17 } 1850 . ] _« f > # SU «» # * . *
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Citation
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Leader (1850-1860), Aug. 17, 1850, page 501, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse2.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/l/issues/vm2-ncseproduct1850/page/21/
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