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CRITICAL MISCELLANIES . Miscellanies .- Critical , Imaginative , and Juridical . By Samuel Warren . Blackwood . In one of Captain Cook ' s Voyages there is an account of some transactions of a commercial character with the natives of some island in the Pacific . As is usual in such cases , civilisation endeavoured to cheat savagery ; and savagery also sought to return the compliment . All manner of articles which the savage esteemed of no value , the civilised white would give beads and buttons for ; beads and buttons being to the savage as pearls of incalculable price . Now it chanced that one savage was anxious to procure a share of these valuables , but had nothing to offer in barter ; after a little reflection the savage took a stick , placed on the end of it a bit of dirt , and offered it at the boat ' s side as the commodity he was prepared to do business
in . The force of barter could not go so far as that : the -whites shook their heads at the astonished savage , who retired , marvelling much , in his hazy intelligence , why the bartering strangers cheerfully accepted his neighbor s rubbish , and declined his dirt . This little episode has been recalled to our memory by a perusal of these volumes . It is only on the principle that led to our Pacific friend ' s offer of exchange , that we can account for Mr , Warren doing himself the injustice to offer these volumes to the public . The last few years have been chitracterised by a very extensive collection of miscellanies , and their republieation in various forms ; and as the works so collected have for the most part been worth republieation , they have been lauded by critics , and bought by tlic public Mi * . Warren could not remain quiet and see all this going on , without a desire to have his share ; and , accordingly , after a little musing , he has darted to the back numbers of !
Blackwood , flung together a few old articles into two volumes , and offers them to the world . We may be as foolish as Cook ' s men appeai'ed to the savages , but bur folly does not go > quite this length ; and as critics , we must tell JYlr . Warren that we do not barter our praise ; and as prudent men , that we do not barter our money in exchange for a commodity like this . Wo believe we speak the truth when we say that the bulk of these articles would never have appeared at first , haul they proceeded from a less-known pen ; and we are certain that we arc correct in siffirming that they have no claim beyond the evanescent notoriety that attaches to the bulk of periodical literature . This is spoken as relate * to the critical portion of these volumes ; half of the articles are juridical , and may have some purely legal value umliscoveruule by us , in which case they should have been buried in rough calf by a
lawpublishcr . As regards the imaginative , there is no such thing to be found , publisher . As regards the imaginative , there is no such thing to be found , except on the title-page . The sin of these volumes is tliat they are utterly commonplace . Commonplace in thought ami in language ; and in this fact lies the groat secret of the popularity of writers like Alison and Warren . They flatter the grand commonplace middle-ivud-upper-cluss society , that has money iu its pockets , and is eminently respectable ; and they never offend it . When . M . Jourdain is told thnt ho has been speaking prose all his lifu , a kind of exultation breaks from liim at the wondrous discovery ; and in like manner , whore a commonplace tltcmght is dressed in pompous words and putR'il as genius , the coinmonpluco man , when he xeadw it and finds that he has boon
thinking such thoughts for years und never before knew they wore ^ emus , feels naturally delighted and bvvcIIn the applause to his utmost , fueling that exactly in proportion ub the writer is celebrated he is advanced also in his own esteem . For a quick and broad huccoss in literature there is no gift like mediocrity . 3 i \ md unothern pruy thnt dear Alphonso may l > o a genius ; but if the fond mother mean that ho may bo prosperous and iiunous among his contemporaries , nml courted among the uiunistiikably respectable (« nd this ia really a woman ' s only idea of literary fume ) , sho should pray that he may be radically und proliflcally mediocre . Such has boon tho good fortune of Tupper , nwl—his Proverbial Platitudes are at ono-know » - » otwhat edition—such also tho lucky futo of the Kocwdor of Hull , and—bunco these volumes .
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after , he and the charming singer are calumniated for their flirtation : the gentleman falls dangerously ill : the lady retreats to London . On his recovery , one of Mr . Random ' s first acts is to knock down a disgraceful officer for abusing the clergy—a duel is arranged to follow—our fighting parson crosses the water to have a comfortable shot at his / man—said man happens to be in the steamer—said steamer happens to be wrecked . Mr . Random is saved , and sees his opponent apparentl y swept away to destruction by a wave . He next goes to London , meets with the irresistible singer , renews flirtations , longs to marry her more than ever . But she has beard reports about his proceedings with the great lord's daughter , and is jealous . A quarrel follows , and the next day Mr . Random goes to Waterloo Bridge , to establish his lunacy beyond all possibility of doubt , by committing suicide . The angry lady of his love happens (! !^ to pass just in time to pull him off the parapet—a reconciliation follows—and Mr . Random , happy and hopeful at last , goes down to his father ' s country seat to pay a little filial visit . Here he meets with a woman whom he had seduced in his wild and -wicked
youth , before he went to the wars . Shocked at the state of degradation in which he finds her , he determines to rescue her from a drunken husband to whom she has been sacrificed . He is discovered in the performance of this meritorious act of atonement ; is misjudged and rejected again by the charming singer ; and has nothing else left for it but to renew flirtation—this time with the great lord ' s sister—a -woman of mature years , but possessed of a fortune , and interest enough to get him a bishopric . So the first volume—positively theJi 7-st only—ends ! We have no room to follow in any detail the series of daring absurdities which fill the second and third volumes of this novel , and which it would be an abuse of terms to call a " plot . " How Mr . Random comes to found an institution for protecting and reclaiming " unfortunate women "—how he jilts the lord ' s sister and marries the lord ' s daughter—how she gets divorced
from him , hour he gets tried for murder , and how he finally succeeds to his father ' s estate and marries Hs first love , the charming singer—our readers must find _ out for themselves . We have said quite enough already to show that the incidents in this very eccentric book are brought , or rather flung , together in flat defiance of rules and probabilities . In the same way , the characters run wild through the story . Anything like dramatic development or the discipline of Art is unknown to ther * u They burst upon us oil a sudden , dash through a scene or two , and , before we have time to know what they are really like , disappear again , without giving us the remotest notion whether we are to bid them good-bye for ever , or whether we are
likely to meet with them again in the next chapter . It may be asked of us , why give a separate notice to such a book as this ? We answer , because it is easy to discern , amid the wiidness and wantonness , the flash and dazzle of Charles Random , some steady , though scattered gleams of sense , talent , and rare observation of nature . With all its faults , with all its sins against Taste and against Art , this book is not a conventional book ( which , is one great recommendation in our eyes ); and , moreover , it gives promise for the future of far better things ( another decided recommendation with us ) , if Mr . White will only do himself justice . We will subjoin one extract , showing as few of Mr . White ' s faults and as many of his merits as possible . Very uncommon knowledge of female human nature , and very uncommon clearness and vigour of writing , distinguish this
SCENE WITH A "WOMAN IN A . PASSION . " Let me come to-morrow , Kate , " said I , sitting down beside her on the sofa . " Remain -where you are . " 11 You do forgive me ? " I asked , taking her hand . The reply -was a box on the ears , given with such force , as to bring the tears into tny eyes . I sat silent under this gentle rebuke , and after some time she spoke , in sharp , short sentences , accompanied by vicious kicks aimed at her poor dog , who bore them lilce a spaniel , licking his mouth whenever he caught it there , and , gently wagging his tail when some other member suffered . "Now , I suppose I ' m to confess—to acknowledge my weakness and stupidity—I must promise—I must beg—and you meanwhile will laugh at my imbecility . " " Dearest Kate , don't talk in this manner . I only wish you to explain "
*' No , of course not ; you only wish me to explain , to account for my actions and feelings , aud finally promise to make everything give way to you . But then you have a perfect right to make these demands . I am your slave , and must have no will of-iny own . " " Upon my word , Kate , I can't talk to you while you are in thia strange temper , " " To be sure not ; a man -who attempts suicide , because a poor girL does not wish to be dragged into an insane marriage , has just cause to complain of the bad humour of other people ; that is perfectly fair , and quito like the men . " I could not reply , so I picked up the dog , -who had been turned completely over by the last coup depied , and amused myself with fondling him . I could see that she did not know how to support the silence that enaued , and waited anxiously till some remark of mine should give her another opportunity of having a shot at mo ; but I kept silence .
" Put that dirty beast down , " said she at length . " Down ! " But as it did not move , she seized it by tho back of its nock and throw it into the passage , determined that nothing should supply tho place of her conversation . "Have you nothing to say , sir , " came out at laat . " I am afraid of you , Kate , " said I , gently taking her hand , which , after a slight effort to rolonse , sho allowed to remain in mine . " I never saw you like this before ; I thought you tho most amiable of your box . " " Then , now , you see I am not . " " Well , we're none of us perfect nngelB , and without some alight leaven of malice , you would bo much too good for this sinful -world . " " Very fine indeed , and quito original , Go on . " * ' I will , if you'll promise not to box my ears . " Sho bit lier lip , but made no reply , und I proceeded— " I am hopelessly in lovq with you , Kate ; -will you , can you , ao far overcomo your repugnance as to marry mo ?"
" I've no choice ; I must either do that , or have your death laid at my door . It would bo so shocking for a clergyman , a teacher of mankind , one of the lights of tho world , to drown himself , becauao a poor , low-bred girl would not marry him . " " There ia no fear of my renewing tho attempt , Kate ; if you ronlly object to our union , say no . I do not wish to sacrifice you to my unfortunate paaaion . " "What gonerouu o routines m « n are I I am bo foolish aa to compromino my reputation by permitting you to remain in my house , and now you wish to retract your offer of marriage . " u Confound it , Kato , thia is past endurance . Had I kno-vni your temper oarlior , tho offer would novor htwo boon mado . "
You were too prudent , you see , to wait . I think I had known von m * i » mM when you first offered me marriage . " y SLS Uour 3 " I -was a great fool , and I am not much wiser at the present time in rushina with open eyes into certain misery ; but you have my promise , and that must bind " Oh ! you have never promised in writing , nor before -witnesses , so that vou arp quite free to desert me . " J " Madam , my promise is sacred , however unwisely , or unfortunately , it has been given : it rests with you . " The reader must not take my words as a correct index of my feelings ; though I think , I played my part to admiration , exhibiting every appearance of regret and
displeasure . I was quite charmed with the piquancy of her ill-temper . To my view she exhibited herself in a new , but equally charming light ; even her frown appeared strikingly handsome , and her curled lip was quite enchanting . I -was even mad enough to fancy that such fracas as these would be quite delightful after marriage , when I should no longer fear her loss ; that it would be pleasant to suffer illtreatment at the hands of this sweet girl , until my suffering should make her ashamed of her cruelty , and she would renew her love with increased demonstrations of tenderness . I had not then learnt tihat while the quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love the quarrels of matrimony are the cradle of disgust .
Kate , however , was now plainly alarmed , and her tone wa 3 altered to the most dulcet softness , when she answered , " I should accept yon , if I thought I could make you happy . " I was not generous enough to forgive her yet , and replied with frigid politeness , " Favour me with your determination to-morrow . I shall not trespass further upon your hospitality to-night , " taking up my hat as if about to depart . " Don ' t go , Charley . " There was no resisting this appeal : The man who could write this scene could write a good novel if he would take the proper pains . If Mr . White will only discipline his mind in the first place , and his pen in the second— -if he will think more of writing fox truth ' s sake , and less of writing for effect's sake—if , in one word , he will work conscientiously at his second book , instead of playing carelessly over it , as he has played over the first—he may rest assured of being able to produce a novel which will deserve and receive our hearty welcome . As it is , what little he has done is principally valuable , because it shows how much he may do .
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" *> THE LEAPEB . [ Saturday ,
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Leader (1850-1860), Dec. 30, 1854, page 1240, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse2.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/l/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2071/page/16/
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