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MODERN SLAK&. their
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of our infancy flourish in . all their prodigality and pomp , paint , and brittleness . . Before , however , dismissing- the younger children , their joys , toys , and appurtenances with a . blessing , one word upon perambulators : here it is impossible not to be on the side of the crinolines and nervous gentlemen with corns . The deliberate way in which parents send out a couple of their infants , side by side , in these cramping , chilling 1 , limb-weakening 1 traps , with the most complete and selfish contempt of the comfort of ordinary pedestrians , deserves a word of animadversion . There is no pretext for the two—it may soon be three-child-abreast perambulator , dragged recklessly forward by an impertinent hussy of a nursemaid . Why not a vis-a-vis , or a dos-a-dos arrangement , and consequently narrower carriage ? Had we ever seen the poor children engaged in apparently pleasing converse , or in passing remarks on objects on their route , interchanging' observations and inferences , it might be
cruel to interrupt such social intercourse ; on the contrary , they seem invariably silent , dissatisfied with the destiny which hurries them onward , with the ill-nature of the interrupted pedestrian reflected on the expression of their own physiognomies . Let no parent who sends forth his children into the streets in a double perambulator , dare to complain of aristocratic aggression in Kensington-gardens or elsewhere . As for parents and nurses , no more appropriate punishment could be devised than a compulsory perambulation of the children up and down Cheaps : de during the three busiest hours of the day . Uninterfered with by the police , they should be left simply to the execrations of the hurried passers to and fro . It is probable that the most impudent nursemaid would fairly confess herself vanquished rather than submit to a repetition of the progress . Children have their little selfishnesses , but they are nothing compared with those of average parents and nurses in connection with their children . So let the perambulators pass on , and off .
We proceed from the innocent to that which is usually considered the mischievous age , eliminating- the gentler sex , and leaving them to their dolls , dancing , and ornamental needlework . It may be unreasonable of us to expect to have our Whit-worths and Akiistuonus , and all the scientific improvements in the arts of injuring-, entirely to ourselves . The boy has his engineers and mechanicians , and naturally emulates the man . Toy rifles may be seen in the shops , with bayonets of most formidable proportions , really calculated to do a great deal of mischief , and ' which might well call fora '' disarming act . " These are palpably dangerous ,
and could find , certainly , no sale in well-regulated schools or families . But that which is the most to be deprecated is the insidious use of india-rubber , that strange substance of which the well-known philosopher , Dr . Piukstly , purchased , now some sixty or seventy years ago , a specimen , as quite a novelty , at the price of about two shillings for the square inch and a-half , and which has proved so elastic—not merely in its quality—but it its capabilities and price . The most perilous applications of India-rubber have lately made their appearance in the shops , worthy not merely of the animadversions of parents , but the attention of the police .
There is a caoutchouc sling , with a place ingeniously arranged for depositing the stone or ballet , so iafuilible , it is said , in a skilful hand , that with it our boj's might surpass , with a little practico , the famous children of the Balearic Isles , and sling down their dinners iiom the very highest trees in Hyde Park . Even in a feeble hand , its foroc of projection is tremendous , and might easily stun or oven kill the unwary passenger . Very recently at Cheltenham , tho police had to be stationed about the volunteers' parade around , to protect thorn from the action of thoso slings . f t
Then thoro is tho catapult , also in india-rubber , and or casing arrows of almost oloth-yard dimension 5 its form is somewhat like that of a horso-shoo ; unfortunately it is easily pocketahle , and wo may henceforth look with considerable apprehension at an arrow oamed without any npparont bow . The elustioity is , in this case , in tho cord , and tho rosistauoo in tho short piooe of iron on which tho shaft rests . Fears may bo entertained lor tho fate of Cupid's familiar lip-liko bow in the vulontines of tho future , iadood , that small god might insidiously clap onu of these oatapults under his wing as easily us one of his mother ' s doves could accrete a lady's
hilld-duux . . n The hist woapon which it is necessary to mention , is nominally tho " bird killer "—for public sparrows or our private pigeons , us tho case may bo ; but also culoulutod to inlliot , aeoidontiilly or not , very sovoro and painful blows on any " bipus iuiplumis " who happens to bo ia thovioiuity . Its struoturoia as follows : —First , wo have to loose dotuehod handles of wood , Jivo or six inches iu length , cylindrical in form , towards tho ond tapering rather sharply and abruptly to a point ; thon a oord of india-rubber ot' about tho elothoslinoeiht nine inohos long
thioknoss of an ordinary - , gor , and strongly loopod at oaoh ond . Those loops are slipped over tho two handles , which aro hold apart , ono in oaoh hand , keeping on tlio Btvotoh tho oord , whioh in this oubo is itsolf tho weapon , and which is projected with groat violonoo by gradually approximating Blightly tho ' two onds of tho handlos , allowing tho loops to sup rapidly ovor tho taporing portions , and so liberating tho oord with Now , thoso who livo in groat oitios , or thoir suburbs , may iairly protest with vohomonoo against suou weapons ono and all , though we aro iuolinod to fWgivo india-rubber a groat donl , for the aako of thoso hollow balls , —that havmlofls , bounding , and
boundless Mossing to tho nursery . , Invention , always fortilo in misohiof , ought not to toe aiclocl ana abcttod by tho toy-makor . Already tho rude and reckless atonothrowing of tho young streot Araaloltitoa is formidably on . tho
increase . Not many months ago , our own shins were nearly broken by a very considerable portion of a briek-bat , hurled across a surburban road by one of these urchins at his companion j our favourite dog-s are frequent sufferers . Let our police look to this , as well as to the perversion of the toy-maker ' s art ; and as we aro making the safety of tho public our study , the police would also do well to have an eye to the intentional sowing of small pieces of orange-peel on the pavement during the orange season , an amusement in which we have seen five or six children of the democracy more than once busily engaged in the evening twilight .
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HPALK of the Chinese with unintelligible language , their JL fifteen definitions sometimes attached to one word , but what better will the English soon be who are yearly engrafting whole families of slang words on our genuine parent roots ? Take , for instance , that one plain comprehensive word " money ; " in the extraordinary nomenclature of modern slang it is recognised Jb y no less than ci' f htecn cant terms , each as uncouth in sound as it is unintellegible in meaning . Does a gentleman wish to express his admiration of a young lady— " She is a stunner , by Jove , " an " out-andouter , " '' a star , " " a flamer . " If a reigning belle , " she is all the rage . " If her admirer be a nautical man , she is designated " a trim little clipper . " If a jockey , she is classed , in the jargon of the stables , " a thorough pacer , " " a handsome filly . " A young man rarelv addresses his friend by his proper name , he is invariably
" old boy , " or '" old fellow . " In speaking of his companions , they are all fellows— "jolly fellows , " " plucky fellows , " " chums , ' " trumps , " or " bricks . " The last term is particularly comprehensive , it includes within its ample bounds not only the individual himself but all his actions . Men drink like bricks , hunt like bricks , pay like bricks , run in debt like bricks , smoke like bricks , live like bricks—yet what the similitude is between these essential pieces of baked earth , and the above occupations , it puzzles the writer to imagine . Tf an acquaintance gets married , we are told " they are done for , " " coupled , spliced , tied , knotted , bound , fettered , squelched . " . t is
A voung man lives nowhere now , he " hangs ou , or " stowed away " somewhere . If he asks a few friends to supper , he gives a ' " loose , " skin . All the " fast youths , " men of dissipated character of Ids acquaintance , are , strange enough , pronounced ffoocl company , if with what is positively wicked they unite good-humour and a pleasing- address . Everything- that displeases him is . " infernal , " from a glove button ' that won't fasten , to a fellow ^ being- who won't do his pleasure . , . Every assertion he makes is " upon his word , and upon Ins honour , " till one can't help fearing that honour and his word will be finallv obscured beneath the mass of nothings heaped
unnecessarily upon it . Does an individual or their opinions displease , taey are pronounced perfectly disgusting , or " quite sickening ;" ¦ and if the victim of this offensive epithet looked rather annoyed at the brusqu , eness of the expression , they are made to feel " monstrous small , " or look disgustingly spooney ; and all opinions not exactly meeting his approval are indiscriminately pronounced great rot , or gas , or rubbish . , These , to say nothing of the " flying horde of fashionable little foreign slangiams hovering about our fashionable cookery and furniture " go to makeup this wearisome cant and bastard dialect , seldom verv elegant , rarely intelligible , of which the fashionable
laro-on of tho vulgar great is composed ( for tho great have their Vulgar too ) , and it is deplorable that people of elegance and refinement do not eschew the practice as coarse and vulgar . 1 jishion has been defined as " Gentility running away from vulgarity , and afraid of being overtaken by it . " But gentility and vulgarity alike keep pace in this matter , and are both unitedly destroying the force and dignity of tho English language . And all the while these counterfeits pass current in tho world , and reputations are gainedand how undesorvod— for wit and talent , by the sole art ot dexterously distributing these words . A premium , in fact , is held out to the modern inventors of nlang , by tho avidity with which every now cunt i > hraso is seized upon and promulgated , lho leaders do
of Ion lmvo theirjfuvourito watch-word , and not more rapturously they woloomo some now and elegant Parisian novelty in dress , than thov do tho advent of some now cunt word . Some tnno ago , the oxti-emoly and inelegant word " squolch " was the reigning favourite . If a man failed in business ho was " squolohodj" squelched if visited by sicknesH or distress > squolchod if ho died . " Crushed , too , wum another favourite , possessing n moaning as unlimited as its circulation . Did a person receive a slight , they wore crushed ; crushed if married - ^ crushed if refused—crushed if not greeted as usual in the streot . Outthod , it seems , applies to everything-
unpleasant or unfortunate in life . . , How is n well-bred foreigner , ono who has loarnod our pure rich language from tho best masters and works of tho best gmmmanans , how is to , on arriving- on our chores , to diBtinffiuHh . amidst allI thta ^^ £ s ^^ look upon . What perversity oi judgment what do P TO . ^ taste does this aU-pervwUnff lovo of . ^'" K . "JJ * ' rubbish in gathering up tho veriest muds ; tho windfalls and tho ruMisn , m
Untitled Article
Nov . 17 , 1860 ] Tlie Saturday Analyst and Leader . 943
Modern Slak&. Their
their MODERN SLAK& .
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Citation
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Leader (1850-1860), Nov. 17, 1860, page 943, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse2.kdl.kcl.ac.uk/periodicals/l/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2374/page/7/
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